my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
