I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
