It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
