I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
