She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
