it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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