we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I believe in your delicious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize