Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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