Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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