cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
