THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
