Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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