fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize