Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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