my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
