I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
