Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
