i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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