a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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