I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He passed out mid-signature
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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