and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
