there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
