Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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