We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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