How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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