I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
