im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This is my gift to your gina
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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