ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
