Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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