Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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