Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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