i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
