Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
