would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
