I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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