Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
