There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
