I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
