How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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