Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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