Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
