operation harelip BJ is a go
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
