I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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