he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
