I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
