at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
