Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize