On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it because I queefed?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
