I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
