Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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