He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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