He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
