I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize