FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
