apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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