I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
