MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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