i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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