we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
