We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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