The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize