You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
